CHRISTMAS WON’T EVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU

Christmas at home

I can’t say this was the best Christmas Eve, since one of the most important people of my life wasn’t here with me for the first time in 24 years. My grandpa passed away 10 days ago, right when I arrived to Spain. I didn’t blog about this before because I needed some time to cry, process what happened and be there for my family.

He was already in the hospital when I arrived in my hometown – I only had time to hold his hand for a couple hours and tell him how much I loved him. The medication kept him asleep because the pain was unbearable; and even though he couldn’t see my face one last time, I like to think he heard my words and felt me close to him. He’d been waiting for his family to all be there before he let himself go, it seemed.

He was a second father to me, always by my side growing up. I can’t even start to describe how much his loss has affected me, the pain is so profound that it leaves me without breath sometimes. He will always be engrained in my heart, and I’ll always embrace the memories I have of his sweetness and kindness towards me.

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I feel so blessed for having such a strong family. When one of us breaks, there is always someone else ready to wipe our tears away and tell us that everything is going to be okay. We all are still figuring out how to live without my grandpa,  but being so close to each other lets us continue with our lives and deal with the pain a little bit better.

On Christmas Eve, we tried to smile and make the most of the night for him. We cooked some of his favorite food, spent time talking about memories we had with him, played cards together (his favorite thing ever) and gave my grandma lots of hugs and kisses. That’s what he would have wanted, I know it.

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These pictures are for you grandpa, you didn’t leave our thoughts for a second.

I loved you once, love you still, I always have, and I always will.

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38 thoughts on “CHRISTMAS WON’T EVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU

    • I am so lucky to have them by my side. I can’t stop thinking how much this would have hurt if I was in LA far away from them right now. Thank you so much for your words, I hope you’re having a wonderful holiday!

  1. Hi Yael,
    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Holidays are just not the same without the people we love most. Luckily, you have a beautiful and loving family and I’m sure his presence will always be felt and remembered, especially around the holidays. =)

    Christina

    • Thank you so much honey, you’re so sweet to me. Christmas won’t ever be the same without his smile, but I’m sure with a little bit of time I’ll be able to remember him without tears on my eyes. I hope you’re having a great time surrounded by your loved ones as well! 🙂

    • Thank you so much Natalie, your comment means a lot. I hope he felt he was here with us the whole night, because we couldn’t stop talking about him. We all loved him so much.
      I hope you’re enjoying your holidays surrounded by your loved ones. Wish you all a lot of happiness for this upcoming year!

  2. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, I pray your memories comfort you during your sadness! Last year 3 days before Christmas I lost my Grandma to Cancer, so I definitely understand how you’re feeling, but I pray that you smile whenever he crosses your mind! Happy Holiday’s!

    • I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandma too, I know you can understand what I feel right now. They will always be a part of us as long as we remember our moments with them. Thank you so much for your words, they comforted me. Happy Holidays!

    • Thank you so much for your condolences. It’s definitely the toughest time of the year to lose a loved one, Christmas is not the same without him. Thanks for your prayers. Wish you a lot of health and happiness for 2014!

  3. Mi más sincero pésame…Pero piensa en el lado positivo..Al menos tuviste tiempo de verle, de agarrar fuertemente su mano, y de decirle que le querías….
    Un beso muy fuerte

    • Muchas gracias por tu pésame. Me siento afortunada porque tuve tiempo de despedirme, aunque me hubiera gustado que el me viera una última vez antes de irse de este mundo. Ahora solo me queda recordar los momentos que vivimos juntos, que afortunadamente fueron muchos, con una gran sonrisa. Felices Fiestas!

  4. Thinking of you Yael. You have my sincerest warm wishes coming your way. It is so wonderful that you were able to see him and say goodbye. Hang on to those memories.
    Blessings to you.

  5. Dearest Yael – My heart breaks for you. Grandfathers are always special and hard to let go of. May he continue to bring smiles to your face when you think of him.

  6. Beautiful photos. I am sorry to hear of your loss. Grief tells us that the loved one is still with us, still present in our hearts; yet I hope that you find some solace.

    All the best,

    Dan

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