I can’t say this was the best Christmas Eve, since one of the most important people of my life wasn’t here with me for the first time in 24 years. My grandpa passed away 10 days ago, right when I arrived to Spain. I didn’t blog about this before because I needed some time to cry, process what happened and be there for my family.
He was already in the hospital when I arrived in my hometown – I only had time to hold his hand for a couple hours and tell him how much I loved him. The medication kept him asleep because the pain was unbearable; and even though he couldn’t see my face one last time, I like to think he heard my words and felt me close to him. He’d been waiting for his family to all be there before he let himself go, it seemed.
He was a second father to me, always by my side growing up. I can’t even start to describe how much his loss has affected me, the pain is so profound that it leaves me without breath sometimes. He will always be engrained in my heart, and I’ll always embrace the memories I have of his sweetness and kindness towards me.
I feel so blessed for having such a strong family. When one of us breaks, there is always someone else ready to wipe our tears away and tell us that everything is going to be okay. We all are still figuring out how to live without my grandpa, but being so close to each other lets us continue with our lives and deal with the pain a little bit better.
On Christmas Eve, we tried to smile and make the most of the night for him. We cooked some of his favorite food, spent time talking about memories we had with him, played cards together (his favorite thing ever) and gave my grandma lots of hugs and kisses. That’s what he would have wanted, I know it.
These pictures are for you grandpa, you didn’t leave our thoughts for a second.
I loved you once, love you still, I always have, and I always will.